Did you know?

When you pop bubble wrap with your teeth it sounds really cool!
Go! Try it!
I dare you.
Be a kid again…

One helluva way to waste time at work…..

http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml

Grumble

I have never had a day go by SO slowly.
Its been a really good day.
I’ve accomplished LOTS.
One of our clients work was hopelessly tangled, and today we untangled it.
In the process I have learned lots.
BUT
This day is never going to end!

Just let me say

When the boss’s son is having a bad day…Ain’t no one having a good day!

Hellfire and Damnation, (Or Life in the Land of Paper cuts, Volume III)

We’ve been having loads of computer trouble at work. Nothing serious, just time consuming….

It means instead of 4 computers, we’ve been down to 3. But when one is having problems, we all suffer, because, of course, they are networked. A few times this week, I was in the middle of something, almost finished, when the “bad” computer had to be restarted. This made me loose the work I had been doing. So frustrating.

Now here is the humorous bit….

The straw that broke the camels back, was a silly bit of Backstreet Boys Wallpaper JK downloaded to torment BS, when he went on his drunken fishing trip. The computer was overworked, and didn’t have enough memory. Its almost back to full strength, after its extended illness, I am happy to report. The new bit of memory has worked wonders. But I could have lived without the exercise I got this morning, cause being the shortest, littlest, most flexible person in the office I got to climb under the desk and peer into the dark innards of the computer, to determine the type of memory needed. My black work clothes are covered in dust, in spite of my best efforts with the lint roller….

And then this morning I spent two hours looking for a document that I NEVER received. My stomach still aches from that stress.

I thought somehow maybe I had shredded it….. I went through all three shred bins frantically. My hands are covered in paper cuts.

But all in all, life in the land of paper cuts isn’t so bad.

I really like my job.

Can I just say once again how much I hate putting subjects in emails?
I really do.
We should all revolt against the system, and stop putting in subjects entirely.
Join the revolution!

I am certain

God drives a 1968 Chevelle- Palamino Ivory in colour.
I’m never going to be the same again.

Something which amuses me greatly. (Lewis Carroll)

You seem very clever at explaining words, Sir,’ said Alice. `Would you kindly tell me the meaning of the poem called “Jabberwocky”?’

`Let’s hear it,’ said Humpty Dumpty. `I can explain all the poems that were ever invented — and a good many that haven’t been invented just yet.’

This sounded very hopeful, so Alice repeated the first verse:

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

`That’s enough to begin with,’ Humpty Dumpty interrupted: `there are plenty of hard words there. “Brillig” means four o’clock in the afternoon — the time when you begin broiling things for dinner.’

`That’ll do very well,’ said Alice: and “slithy“?’

`Well, “slithy” means “lithe and slimy.” “Lithe” is the same as “active.” You see it’s like a portmanteau — there are two meanings packed up into one word.’

`I see it now,’ Alice remarked thoughtfully: `and what are “toves“?’

`Well, “toves” are something like badgers — they’re something like lizards — and they’re something like corkscrews.’

`They must be very curious looking creatures.’

`They are that,’ said Humpty Dumpty: `also they make their nests under sun-dials — also they live on cheese.’

`Andy what’s the “gyre” and to “gimble“?’

`To “gyre” is to go round and round like a gyroscope. To “gimble” is to make holes like a gimblet.’

`And “the wabe” is the grass-plot round a sun-dial, I suppose?’ said Alice, surprised at her own ingenuity.

`Of course it is. It’s called “wabe,” you know, because it goes a long way before it, and a long way behind it — ‘

`And a long way beyond it on each side,’ Alice added.

`Exactly so. Well, then, “mimsy” is “flimsy and miserable” (there’s another portmanteau for you). And a “borogove” is a thing shabby-looking bird with its feathers sticking out all round — something like a live mop.’

`And then “mome raths“?’ said Alice. `I’m afraid I’m giving you a great deal of trouble.’

`Well, a “rath” is a sort of green pig: but “mome” I’m not certain about. I think it’s short for “from home” — meaning that they’d lost their way, you know.’

`And what does “outgrabe” mean?’

`Well, “outgribing” is something between bellowing and whistling, with a kind of sneeze in the middle: however, you’ll hear it done, maybe — down in the wood yonder — and when you’ve once heard it you’ll be quite content. Who’s been repeating all that hard stuff to you?’

`I read it in a book,’ said Alice. `But I had some poetry repeated to me, much easier than that, by — Tweedledee, I think it was.’

`As to poetry, you know,’ said Humpty Dumpty, stretching out one of his great hands, `I can repeat poetry as well as other folk, if it comes to that — ‘

`Oh, it needn’t come to that!’ Alice hastily said, hoping to keep him from beginning.

The perfect glass (revised)

Can hold 3 icecubes and an entire can of diet coke.

An entire can of Diet Vanilla Coke, I might add.
Which is entirely delicious and refreshing and no longer on the market.
Hint Hint, damned coke company…

Hellfire and Damnation ( or Life in the Land of Papercuts, Volume II)

I love my job.
I have my boss- Ms. M., Who is great, and smart and has a great sense of humor. Then there are the other two other partners in crime.
Jk is the staff accountant, and is simply a lovely person, inside and out. I just adore her. She’s a year older than me and just about to sit for the CPA exam. So good luck to her.
Then there is BS. He’s 24, and funny as hell. He’s also the boss’s kid. He’s into politics and reading and rock climbing. He also likes fishing. He’ll be gone the next two days for a fishing trip and JK and I are planning all sorts of mischief while he’s gone.
We can’t do anything TOO drastic, though, because we are both going away the weekends after.
JK’s scanner that has been giving hell for the last 2 months finally died. Ms.M got a new one and told us to get rid of the old one. I think she thought we’d dump it in the trash.
We went out behind the dumpster, and gave it a funeral, instead. BS took off his hat, and said a few words over it, Then JK smashed it with a hammer. THEN we put it in the trash.
One of the plans to punish BS for his drunken fishing trip is to purchase a blow-up doll and paste the pic of a face of one of our least fav clients on her, and leave her in the chair for BS to find Monday morning.
I think I’ll just TP his desk.
The scary electric stapler finally died this last week. Ms.M told us to make sure no one could plug it in and use it as a weapon, so we took it out behind the dumpster and jumped on it. Then we threw it. Then we swung it at the ground by the cord. After it was good and dead, we tied it by the cord to the fence that surrounds the dumpster, as a warning to all other office equipment.
Financial statements scare the hell out of me.
I’ve only done one, and I know the theory, but….
Practice makes perfect, I guess.
Hmmm. So many stories to tell, so little time.
So. I moved a chair in my office to get something off the shelf. Or maybe Ms. M moved the chair. I don’t remember. She was there and then left. I dropped my little container of red “sign here” stickers and I knelt down to pick them up, and as I knelt down, I hit my tailbone on the wooden armrest of the chair. Damn, it still hurts. So now you all know how I hurt my tailbone. I think its just bruised, however, because the pain has subsided slightly.
So now you all know how I did that.