So David- my biological father, was at the same store as us last night.
AWKWARD!
I don’t mean to sound like a bitch, but HELLO? I haven’t talked to you in 2 years, what makes you think its a good idea to come up in the store and talk then?
“Aren’t you going to say hi to your dad?”
“No, I’m sorry, I’m really not”
So then he looks expectantly at Emma-I think he thought she’d remember him. But she didn’t.
She points at Brian “Hims my dad and that’s his wife!” Pointing at me.*
So then he looks at Brian, who nods. David walks away. We continue through the checkout line.

Brian was really bothered by this- not by my not wanting to have anything to do with David, but with the whole social embarrassment of it all!
“Here I was with my arm around his daughter and all I can think is this is the ex-cop, ex cocaine addict who my girlfriend doesn’t want anything to do with. And I should want to shake his hand, or introduce myself but I can’t.” I think his feelings were perhaps more complex than that, but you get the idea.

I go home and call my mother: “Prepare for fallout.”Thats all I have to say.
She knows what this means. It means perhaps she’ll get a phone call from someone who is angry. And I feel bad about that. Its pretty shitty that Brekke’s 23 and Mom still has to deal with this shit from his side of the family.

Am I weird in that when I see pictures of giant squids I wonder why the hell we don’t eat them?
Cause squid? Thats some YUMMY eating.

BEST SPAM EVER!

Show her your pants monster

Fidelia Downing to me

Get armed with giant lovemaker! http://theshyfo.com

Fidelia Downing

Walking around the world NUDE

Or nearly!
I had this cute crocheted black skirt that I loved very much. It was sleek and altogether lovely.
I took my jacket off as I walked into work this morning and my boss was all “what happened to your skirt?”
It had come unraveled- in the worst way possible- just across the right side of my butt.
So, considering the fact that the underskirt was very thin and the fact that I had 2 meetings with clients today I hightailed myself to Shopko which is right across the street from my office and bought a pair of jeans. Just plain boring but unholy blue jeans. I know, I know, Shopko? And I didn’t want to spend money on pants this morning. I only paid 15 for the jeans. So worst case scenario I can wear them for camping. Hardly glamorous but I am now at least decent.
Decent but mourning the loss of the magical black skirt.

Easter and a cake and a whole lotta other shit rolled into one.

So I was feeling domestic.
So I baked a cake. Wanna see a picture?

Its a carrot cake and it was pretty good. It had pineapple and coconut in it.
The link I got it from is HERE.

Anyway…

I think I need a better camera. Also? It would have been really pretty if I’d bothered to actually toast the coconut. I got tired.

So after I baked it, I took a picture of it. And I didn’t let Emma jump face first into it.
SHE WANTED TO!

So after I tortured my daughter my taking pictures I cut it open.
And it was lovely!

I even made Brian pose for a shot!

Yes, it also tasted delicious. But its HUGE! I’m thinking I’ll take some of it to work and have Brian’s brother in law come and get some too. Next time I think cupcakes would be better- I could freeze them.

And since I ACTUALLY took pictures of something…. Here are some Easter photos for you!
Emma was REALLY pissed that I made her wear bunny ears.

Yes. I get that look a lot. She’s very very good at it.

Here is one of her practicing it.

Anyway, back to Easter, there was this guy who cut in line in front of Emma and I for the balloon animal people. The people very nicely (I thought) asked Emma was she wanted first.

“A Pink Sword!”
And thats what she got.

The nice balloon people somewhat confusedly asked the guy who cut in front of us what he wanted (! hello? Kids function? Bit odd?)
“A little pink doggie!”
Now… I’m not saying he was a creepy pedophile type person? Maybe he had a kid there…? But?
HE WAS CREEPY!

Anyway, one more Easter picture because Emma’s little lips just looked so sweet in this one.

She got my sister Brekke’s lips. Lucky girl.

And hey, here’s a picture of me! Brian and I were going on a DATE! So I curled my hair. It didn’t quite work out but HEY? Who cares?

Brian liked this picture. And I consider any picture where I’m not blinking to be a huge success! (he took 6, and this was the only decent one)

About a month and a half ago- perhaps two, when the roads were still fairly icy we turned into a parking lot and started to slide. I pumped my brakes and I wasn’t going very vast, but there was a divot in the road that we slid over. Unfortunately my rear struts were bad- thus the back end of my car went THUMP. Thump on my muffler. I was pissed, but nothing seemed amiss.
But then in about 2 weeks something started to rattle. And then the rattle got louder, and then I had no muffler at all. Or at least it sounded that way. So one day I went back, and looked and lo and behold I had NO TAIL PIPE. And here is the sad thing- they come welded together- some mufflers have tail pipes you can screw in, but mine was an all in one.
So I really F***** up my car. And I had been planning on having daddy do the struts. Well, he fixed everything for me last night…200 later…. And I’m lucky that he can do that for me- I don’t know how people who have to pay a mechanic do it! I really don’t!

Dude?

What is up with today? Its already been like 3 Mondays in length!  I JUST WANNA GO HOME ALREADY!
And eat cracker and cheese and drink wine.  LIKE A WHOLE GLASS so that I'm slightly tipsy good feeling HURRY UP STUPID TUESDAY ALREADY!

–
-Ariel

I’m going camping!
See you all later!

Brian loves me

I just watched, for the first time, the last hour of ” Batman Begins” ( this drunken camping weekend? The first half of the movie!)
And he sat with me, and listened to, my sarcastic commentary on the film and in particular of Mrs. Tom Cruise (who didn’t do that bad of a job, as far as I could tell, in my drunken state:).
so he’s going out to smoke- which I hate, but still love him and I say something the the effect of “do you still love me?’
And he says “YES!”
And I say ” In spite of or because of my sarcastic commentary of the movie?”
and he says “All of the Above!”
Because I give something of a MST3K commentary to EVERY movie I watch- and still, after 1 and 1/2 years of watching movies with me- HE’S STILL HERE!

I can’t tell you how lucky I am.
I just hope, in every persons life, that they are blessed to wake up at least once in their life next to someone who loves them as much as he loves me.

DO YOU KNOW BOSSY?

Well? DO YOU?
you know, that BOSSY? of WWW.iambossy.COM?
Well, turns out, in my drunken post tax season revelry that she will be in BOISE TOMORROW.
and did I know that? Did I extend the hand of friendship to her? NO, because when I read that she was doing her road trip I totally thought she was skipping the Boise region. And it was tax season. So I only noticed numbers. I have now (DRUNKENLY) I might add, emailed 2 potential host of BOSSY to determine if there is an official meeting place for BOSSY.
I drank 2 beliniis tonight. And then I came home and drank like 2 more glassed of wine. And it was good.
I will report back to you, should I meet Bossy.
If I don’t?
I shall weep.
Oh yeah, and I left my phone at the restaurant. Sometimes? I suck
And if those people actually read my emails? They will think I am a lush. Totally not true. For the most part.

I totally needed to get drunk tonight.