What’s really important to a six year old.

“Mamma, if you have a baby, what are you gonna name it?” Emma asked this morning.

“I don’t know baby, what do you think?”

“I think if he’s a boy you should name him Appa or Momo!” She said.

“Well where did you hear those interesting names?”

“From Avatar Mama!  Appa is the flying bison and Momo is the flying monkey (Actually a flying lemur)!  They are cool names!”

(We are actually going to not tell anyone the names we’ve picked out, cause everyone’s got an opinion- And NO. I’m not pregnant yet.)

Funny stuff

I’ve been quietly blog stalking Mayo Pie for quite some time.  Funny shit.  However, you should go and read for yourself.

Today’s post is most excellent!

“In all of the above scenarios, neighbor-eating will become an important part of your new way of life.  It’s pretty much unavoidable.  In fact, I’m already prepping my neighbors.  From time to time I’ll even take over some protein shakes and a cornmeal casserole to make sure I’ll be getting everything I need. “Eat up, Joan, you’re so thin. You don’t look like you’re going to last the Winter,” I’ll say and we’ll all laugh and laugh.   “Still, I could just eat you up right now,” I’ll exclaim. “Oh, Mayo. you’re such a flirt,” she says as she blushes, her now rosy cheeks looking like succulent little hams. “Mmmm… Joan bacon,” I think to myself.”

Three things. Maybe four.

Was driving along behind a mini van. Mini van had a tiny mop of a dog with it’s paws on the edge of the window and his  head sticking out the window.  DOG FALLS OUT OF THE WINDOW!  Dog is on a leash- the man driving CATCHES the dog and yanks it back in. I hope to god that dogs neck was not broken, but the fall and the YANK… The dog was so tiny…. The man pulled over a few seconds later.  It was horrific to watch.  And this is why I’m a freak about having the window rolled down too much when Buster is in the car.

Jesus Freak shouting on the corner thumping on a bible.  I didn’t hit him with my car.

I ordered lunch from Jack in the Box.  When I pull up to the window the man is shouting “You’re all NINJA’S! NINJA’S!  He seemed to be happy, so I can only assume today it was a good day to be a ninja at Jack in the box.

Today I can smell DIRT. I’m not liking it.

So once upon a time there was a girl who forgot she had a blog but then she remembered.

Hi!  Am living.  Went camping.  Am tired.

(ETA, it helps if you hit publish.  Really.)

TMI

Who knew that bloating and sore boobs were a side effect of quitting birthcontrol?  I didn’t.

If I didn’t know better I’d say I was pregnant- between my boobs and “feeling” my uterus.

Stupid hormones.

Gah.

Also? I think I have liver spots on my hand. Am I too young to have liver spots on my hand? It’s also possible there are marks from frying bread and getting splattered with hot oil. Or maybe they are liver spots. WTF me?

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I just kissed his cute little face:)

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Him have such a hard life!

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Buster doesn’t want to watch an Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt movie! Buster has good taste.

I forgot the tennis balls when I went shopping.

You are accusing ME of blaspheme??? MOI?????

I would NEVER use a stuffed Easter Bunny in the place of a tennis ball to keep myself from crashing into shit in my garage! (Point- I’ve never actually crashed into anything in the garage, I just pull too far forward, causing everyone involved to  hit their shins on shit.) And NO it’s not hanging from it’s neck (that would have been funnier, no?) but from the carrot it’s holding.

Dude- that holy little bunny is actually SAVING me! Therefore fulfilling a sacred purpose.

What’s that?  Easter isn’t about Bunnies? You don’t say!

Emma came home from VOLDEDAD’s this weekend singing a new song about “The power of the blood.” Am so not thrilled.  If VOLDEDAD actually WENT to church I couldn’t complain as much as he might actually get something out of it (wishful thinking), but no, VOLDESTEPMOM takes her.  So then I said “Lets listen to Lady GaGa to get that BAD song out of your head.”  So we cranked the radio and sang Bad Romance all the way to Brian’s parents house.  And then we ate ham and there was much rejoicing over little chocolate eggs.

Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with spirituality.  The thing I have a problem with is the hypocrisy of VOLDESTEPMOM.  That woman is one of the Christians who give Christians a bad name. Hell no, I don’t want her teaching my child her version of right and wrong.

DID I MENTION that VOLDEDAD and VOLDESTEPMOM are breeding again? Nice huh? I knew you’d all be thrilled!

Buster plays

We need a new camera because the world is a sadder place when you all can’t hear Buster talk.  He TALKS and it’s the funniest thing in the universe.  And alas, while our camera records video, for some GOD FORSAKEN REASON it has no sound. WTF?

Oh, yes, he DID just jump up there and get the hedgehog!