Buster the Chug (Ribbed for his pleasure)

(Sorry, couldn’t help myself) It is! LOOK!

All right, maybe not "ribbed", perhaps "nubbed?"

Either way, HE LIKES IT, and he’s not ashamed!

If you want me to bite it mom, I will. Nom Nom Nom.

Buster is FUN!  He can be a pill, like the other morning when a huge wind came through in the night, knocked the wheelbarrow over which broke the fence, resulting in a two slat opening, JUST wide enough for him to squeeze through.  Which I didn’t know when I let him out to go potty before I left for work.  So when I let him in 10 minutes later and he didn’t come in… There was much terror. And ten minutes of us driving through our neighborhood looking for him.  Emma was crying that someone was going to steal her dog.  We found him…and Brian fixed the fence when he came home.

Emma adores him:

Love:)

They sing, they dance!

Kisses! Kisses!

Sometimes he just tolerates her exuberant affection, but he loves her lots!

All we need is love!

This dog is SPOILED.  I cannot go shopping without buying him something.  And he’s a chewer, so most thing go quickly.  Here is his assorted loot in one room.

One room's worth, although he does tend to carry his favorites around with him

He got a new baby tonight, see?.

I'm such a good daddy! Or wait....

I'm very small and alone and helpless and cute!

Oh, I have fear!

And having owned hedgehog for exactly two hours the squeaker is already gone!

Gator has seen better days- but is his most favorite of toys. I found him in Winco and will be looking for a replacement next timeI go.

And OMG, do you see his cute little wrinkles?  Around his nose? I just want to bite them, they are so cute!  He is SUCH a cute dog!

Big Bone! Big Bone! This is his nylabone, which he love very much too. DAMN but them's expensive!

Just so you don't think my life is *so* easy, I'll have all of you know she made me SIT for this milkbone and then lay down and THEN? SHE TRIED TO PUT IT ON MY NOSE! My mommy is HEARTLESS, I tell you. My life? One huge tragedy.

He will never be a Chuck, I’m afraid…

Don't look at me like that, I live a life of TORTURE! TORTURE!

O.M.G! LOOK at his face, his cute little face and TELL me how you can not love him? I mean seriously, LOOK AT THIS FACE!

He has an appointment to get his balls chopped off next month- since it’s tax season I need a Saturday appointment.  He spends his spare time looking at girls on the internet- He thinks Ella is QUITE fetching and Pearl has LOVELY eyes and a stunning coat!  He’s quite the ladies man, he just doesn’t know it’s about to come to an end!

He sleeps with Brian and I and prefers to be IN THE MIDDLE.  When we are settling in for the night he tries to sneak in- it’s hilarious, the innocent look on his face.  He KNOWS he’s supposed to be at the bottom of the bed but he wants SO desperately to be in the middle!  A couple of nights ago I woke Brian up laughing because he’d wiggled up between us and was tummy up, snoring! ( He does snore, but not as much or as loud as a pug does.)  As it is, one of us is constantly moving him back down and to the side.  SOMEONE complains about it but when I said we COULD kennel him if we had to at night, someone wouldn’t hear about it. SOMEONE loves this dog just as much as I do.

We’d both prefer it if he wanted to sleep with Emma, but he’s very much oriented towards adults it seems.  And she likes it when he snuggles her, but since he’s a cuddler and she’s a sprawler they are both contented to sleep apart.  We just need a bigger bed.

Speaking of beds…I’m off to mine:)

In which I mix children’s tv shows and cusswords.

Since I have a young child I’m fairly well versed in all the shows on PBS.  We don’t have cable or satellite because #1 I’m cheap and don’t see the value and #2 we are trying to save money and pay off debt so we can breed.

I let Emma watch no more than an hour of TV every day (not counting the movies we watch together) in the mornings after she’s gotten ready for school.

I’m pretty cool with MOST of the programs on PBS except for one program which I can’t stand.  Its called Caillou and its fucking BAD.  I LOATHE IT!  The main character is a little boy who clearly needs… I don’t know what he needs but I can’t stand him.  I’ve worked in daycares, volunteered with kids of all ages, babysat and I’ve never met a kid like that. It’s like the creators took every annoying quality a child can have and multiplied it by TEN.  And his voice…..Shudder….  I mean, I don’t think the kids parents even like him very much.  One of the few episodes I ever watched Caillou’s mom took him to work for the morning. Lunchtime came and then his dad came to get him.  She couldn’t even handle a full day with him.  I bet she was whispering into the phone “Come and get him! He’s so fucking annoying my coworkers are going to throw him down the elevator shaft!”  (But kudo’s to whomever had the dad be a SAHD, that totally rocks!)

I don’t know if I have a point other than the fact that Ya, PBS, BARNEY is better than CAILLOU!  FUCKING BARNEY!

Various

I’m tired.  TIRED.  And sick to death of wrangling with clients.  The days leading up to and the day of tax deadlines are always stressfull.  But WE SURVIVED!   I didn’t work out this morning, my warm bed and my warm husband were entirely too appealing.  But I don’t feel as good if I don’t work out so as soon as he gets home from working late (coworkers wife has H1N1 yeah! and there was much rejoicing) I’m headed off to the gym to sweat some of the stress from today away.

Emma’s school is offering free H1N1 vaccines starting Monday. YES PLEASE!  It’s the mist one, so she gets a second dose in two weeks.

Speaking of vaccines, I just realized my last tetanus shot was in 1985.  NINETEEN HUNDRED EIGHTY-FIVE!  I think I’d better get one before next summer!

I feel bad for Catherine de’ Medici, lady had kindof a shitty life.  Of course no one back then had an exactly GREAT life but man, it would SUCK to be blamed for not having an heir to the throne when your husband is too busy screwing his mistress to get the job done for you.

Seaweed is DELICIOUS.  I have to fight Emma for my fair share!

Brian has a soccer game tonight at 11:15.  Which SUCKS, cause that means we are gonna miss it.

Did you hear about balloon kid? OMG, I’m so happy he’s not dead, but OMG, he’s so grounded! Parenting is an odd combination of pleasure and pain and definitely there are days when the pain is SO MUCH MORE!

Thing that make me smile

http://www.picturesforsadchildren.com/

My sister in law’s www.babysites.com page.  I’m going to be an auntie in March again!

Tomorrow is Friday.  I am giving blood.

This is our weekend with Emma.  This makes us happy!

Corn maizes!

We are going for a train ride!  Emma will get to pick out her very own pumpkin from the pumpkin patch!  How awesome is that?

What if?s

Emma is at the age of “what if”.  Usually she’s worrying about something.

Today it’s me who is worrying and playing the what if game.

My sweet girl is going to kindergarten.  In about 2 hours.

What if someone is mean to her?

How will she handle it WHEN someone is mean to her?

What if she is mean to someone?

Milestones.

She is ready. She is smart. So why is my heart hurting so much?

I wrote her teacher a letter about her.

Dear Mrs T!

I just wanted to let you know a few things about Emma.

She loves stories and songs and making up wild tales.  There is an ogre who lives in her Auntie Jenny’s attic, and a troll named Bluebell who lives in movie theaters.

She still believes in Santa Claus and fairies.

When Emma is happy she is usually singing.  She’s a huge fan of Taylor Swift and Sarah McLachlan.  She also likes the musical Wicked.  She can memorize songs very quickly.

She loves dancing and dressing up.  She loves to be read to and will beg for more stories until my throat is sore.  She LOVES to learn. She says she’s going to take every class in the world so she can know everything.

She loves camping and movies and ice-cream and dark chocolate.

She is eager to please and loves to help.  She is affectionate, she loves to hug and snuggle and we are trying to make her understand that she doesn’t always have to hug her friends, that not everyone likes hugs as much as she does.

She is afraid of the dark (sometimes), thunderstorms, and cats (most of them).  Because she is imaginative and creative she is always thinking up bad situations and asking what if.  I don’t know if that is normal, as she’s my only one.   I know I was the same way when I was her age.

We let Emma choose her outfits. Sometimes they are a little wild, but we don’t like to stifle creativity and we get such a kick out of them.

She’s basically this busy little dancing singing fairy.  She is SO MUCH FUN. We both think she’s the neatest child in the world and we are so proud of her.

I went on to talk about the family situation, the legal stuff, and volunteering.

Milestones.

So I guess, on the up side of “What if”…because it’s odd to contemplate that my sweet 5 year old daughter will someday be a woman, What if she turns out to be every bit as awesome as I think she’s going to be?

My husband and I just had a Ménage à trois with a spider.

No. Not on purpose.

Yes. The spider is now dead.

Brian had to defend my honor.

You are welcome.

In which Brian learns a valuable lesson

A couple of weeks ago the boys were playing Axis and Allies until three in the morning.  Not a problem.  Except they were drinking.  Again, not a problem.  Except Brian said he’s be home by ONE and it was THREE when I woke up and his phone was dead and I didn’t know where he was.

He came home and didn’t quite understand why I was pissed. (Cause I was worried!?)  But he was suitably repentant and life moved on!

Last night we watched Amélie, a subtitled french film. ADORABLE.  If you like subtitles, which I do. Call me crazy.

Anyway, there comes a point in the movie where she’s supposed to meet up with her male interest and he’s late, and her brain goes a little crazy.

“-Nino’s late. For Amelie, there’s only two possible explanations

. He didn’t find the picture.

. He didn’t have time to piece it together

because repeat offenders took him hostage.

Chased by the police,

they managed to escape.

But he caused an accident.

When he recovered, he couldn’t remember anything.

A trucker gave him a ride

and believing that he is a fugitive, put him in a container to Istanbul.

There, he came across Afghan adventurers,

who took him with them to steal soviet missiles.

But their lorry exploded on a landmine in Tajikistan.

The only survivor, mountaineers helped him out,

and he became a mujaheddin fighter.”

“THIS IS WHAT MY BRAIN DOES!”  I exclaim to Brian!  “This is what I think when you are late!  My brain automatically takes something tiny and explodes it into something big.”

And now Brian knows how crazy I can truly be.  And he still loves me anyway! SO really the lesson learned is that I have a French brain or something.

I loved the movie! You should watch it!

Send chocolate

Am PMSing. Send help. Send alcohol. Send someone to give me a back massage!

I NEED CHOCOLATE.

I think PMS proves intelligent design wrong.  Just my current theory.

Our house inspection is today.  I’m hoping everything looks good so we can move forward!

I can call you very ugly in Klingon but I never sank truly to the deepest depths

FOR EXAMPLE, I’ve never made a video of assorted clips- and dude, this song JUST came out.

Who hears a love song and thinks “Oh, that reminds me of these people on star trek?”

I was never a true nerd, I brushed the edges but never truly “inhaled”!

So guess who won’t be going to their 10 year reunion?

Did you guess me? You would be right.

First of all- I didn’t even graduate from that high school. Yes, technically I attended 3.75 years there, but I didn’t graduate.

Second? I don’t have many very good memories of it- I loved choir, I went there so I could be in the choir, and those memories were F***** over when my sister saw one of the girls I was in choir with making out with the MARRIED choir teacher who HAS KIDS OLDER THAN US in the parking lot of the store 8 years ago. Messed up.

Plus? Everyone I really cared about I’ve kept in touch with over the years.

Plus? I was glad when the school burned last year- it exorcised many yucky memories for me.
The weird thing is I didn’t have an unhappy high school existence- I got good grades, I had lots of friends. I wasn’t one of the “beautiful people” but I was well liked and everyone knew who I was. (small school, graduating class of 98 people total- 98 in 98, guess I messed that one up huh?)

But high school- while I enjoyed it for what it was- was in NO WAY the best part of my life! I wouldn’t go back to 18 for anything- yes, I wiegh15 lbs more than I did then, But I Feel GOOD about myself and who I am now. And I like that. I’m not the same person I was then, nor would I want to be. And the friends I kept in contact with? Love them as I do they are pretty much the same as they were then- which is fine for them, but I know they are uncomfortable with who I am now.

I am Ariel, twice divorced single mom. Mostly Buddhist, not even a little Mormon anymore- I have 2 bisexual sisters whom I am proud of and love very much and I think they should be able to marry anyone they want. I am pro choice, anti Bush and I believe in global warming. I live unashamedly with my boyfriend whom I will marry someday, when its right for us but we do not feel ashamed of our unmarried status.