The thought rattling around in my brain

I have not been Mormon for years, but in all that time it never occurred to me to ask them to remove my name from their lists.  It did not matter much, since no one ever came looking for me, and I liked it that way.

But then  I started thinking about it.  It is one more name on their list that they can count.  And that bothers me.  I know plenty of good, righteous people in the L.D.S. Church, but for the most part all I see is hypocrisy and cultist behavior

So I am thinking, as a treat to myself, after I finish my last final and have my root canals, I will write that letter that I should have written years ago.

I understand it can be quite the lengthy process and a highly frustrating one as well.  Is anyone curious about it?  Would you like me to detail it? I probably will anyway. You know how I love to share.

Shall we see if they rally around, trying to bring their lost sheep into the fold? I do not think they will either.

All I can say is, THANK GOD I never had Emma registered in any way in that church, since I would have to do a separate letter for her too.

Things that make me happy.

THIS post, courtesy Dooce.  Thanks to her, I shall now address everyone as “My bitch”.

Sample:

Eventually, one night in total darkness, I arrived at the temple in Salt Lake City. I felt its facade and it was like a lightning bolt ran through my fingers, up and down my spine to my brain and my anus, filling me with the electricity of hope, something I’d never felt before. I sat on the steps until dawn came, and a man of the cloth arrived.

“Who are you?” he said.

“I’m a fucking believer, my bitch,” I said. Having grown up on the block, this was the only way I had ever heard people talk. I had no idea it was offensive. In a surge of faith that this man would not judge me, I took off my Stormtrooper mask to reveal my lack of a face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, scrunching his face in disgust. ”I don’t think we can accommadate you.”

I highly recomend reading it. Unless you don’t have a sense of humor,  in which case you may be excused.

Vanilla Lattes.

Pictures of PUPPIES.

On igoogle I have a pet turtle. I used to have two but I forgot about them and I think one died.

Remembering how my brother had this game with worms in it and the worms bombed shit and stuff.

F.Y.I.

There is NO SUCH THING as MORMON PANTYHOSE.

(Most popular search item that brings people to my blog, probably because of THIS post.)

So guess who won’t be going to their 10 year reunion?

Did you guess me? You would be right.

First of all- I didn’t even graduate from that high school. Yes, technically I attended 3.75 years there, but I didn’t graduate.

Second? I don’t have many very good memories of it- I loved choir, I went there so I could be in the choir, and those memories were F***** over when my sister saw one of the girls I was in choir with making out with the MARRIED choir teacher who HAS KIDS OLDER THAN US in the parking lot of the store 8 years ago. Messed up.

Plus? Everyone I really cared about I’ve kept in touch with over the years.

Plus? I was glad when the school burned last year- it exorcised many yucky memories for me.
The weird thing is I didn’t have an unhappy high school existence- I got good grades, I had lots of friends. I wasn’t one of the “beautiful people” but I was well liked and everyone knew who I was. (small school, graduating class of 98 people total- 98 in 98, guess I messed that one up huh?)

But high school- while I enjoyed it for what it was- was in NO WAY the best part of my life! I wouldn’t go back to 18 for anything- yes, I wiegh15 lbs more than I did then, But I Feel GOOD about myself and who I am now. And I like that. I’m not the same person I was then, nor would I want to be. And the friends I kept in contact with? Love them as I do they are pretty much the same as they were then- which is fine for them, but I know they are uncomfortable with who I am now.

I am Ariel, twice divorced single mom. Mostly Buddhist, not even a little Mormon anymore- I have 2 bisexual sisters whom I am proud of and love very much and I think they should be able to marry anyone they want. I am pro choice, anti Bush and I believe in global warming. I live unashamedly with my boyfriend whom I will marry someday, when its right for us but we do not feel ashamed of our unmarried status.

I stopped wearing pantyhose when I stopped being Mormon.

And that is the entire truth.
I don’t think the fishnets I wore last Halloween count.
I’m not sure why I don’t wear them anymore, I never hated them. I just think it was the fact that if you didn’t wear them the Mormon ladies spewed forth hateful looks. I always felt like I could read their minds- “She has BARE legs! Whore! Temptress! Jezebel! She is surely going to outer darkness for that!”
Of course not everyone was like that. Just a few. Like the woman who thought my one piece bathing suit was immodest. (she made her daughters wear something like this)
And it only got worse after I left my first husband (the nice oh so righteous returned missionary who was abusive) Because then I had bare legs, I was cute and divorced! I had tasted the forbidden fruit and would surely be trying to seduce their husbands!
I have a court date on the 6th- to finalize the divorce I’ve been working on for the past 18 months. I’m contemplating wearing them. Because its going to take nylons to make me look like the more responsible party? Hmm. She has a job, a house and she’s wearing nylons vs. no job, currently in jail (DUI’s), no house. It may be a toss up. NOT.
I don’t know, it just seems to be the thing to do…